My Artist

My daughter loves art. 

She loves creating. 

She loves crafts. 

Any medium, any modality. 

And I love her for it.

Cat Feet

Dear Litigator,

I am so proud of you. You are really and truly one amazing little girl.

How is it that you spark interest in the most amazing things without being forced? You're writing a musical right now. How did that happen? What motivated you? What did you see that lead you in that direction?

You write books. You create commercials, you paint and draw. You are so creative. And smart.

You are kind and sweet and gentle.

I asked you the other day what your favorite thing about YOU is. Your answer: I don't know.  I like a lot of things about me. Hurrah. I couldn't ask for any more than that.

You are truthful, loving, empathetic. You are better than me in so many ways.

You teach me new things all the time.

I just want you to know that I am really doing my best. I sometimes do the wrong thing. I sometimes yell. I curse. A lot. I treat you like a baby. (Because it hurts to see you growing up sometimes.) I make mistakes. I am learning as I go. I don't know HOW to BE a mother, it just comes. No one is taught. One day you have a sweet, little innocent depending on you and you have to take charge. The instincts kick in and you're off.

There is no instruction manual.

And sometimes, you guess.

You think maybe this is the right thing and it turns out maybe not. But you learn from your mistakes. I hope. And I only want you to be the happiest little girl in the world. I only want you be strong and independent and smart. I want you to learn from my mistakes.

I want you to be confident in yourself. Because you are one amazing little person.

I want you to know how much I adore you. I cherish you. I breathe for you. You are my reason.

There is nothing in the world that you could do to ever make me not love you.

I hope you know you can tell me anything at any time. I may not always want to play, I may not always want to do the things you want. But I always love you. Always. I am not perfect. But as you say, no one is perfect.

We argue, we laugh, we cry. But out of all the little girls in the world, I got the very best one.

No matter what. I love you.

I'm your mom. I couldn't be anything better if I tried.

I love you forever,
Mamma

December 20th

I can't believe I have a five year old daughter.

It seems like just yesterday she was born.

Now, I'm filling out the paperwork for kindergarten.

How fast does it go, really?

It's been over a month since I've put words to posts here at this blog, and it feels like I was just here yesterday. I miss you all.

In coming back, I find that one very good blogging friend is expecting her third child.

And...

My other very good blogging friend Margaret had a baby on the 17th. I've heard all about her journey from the day she found out she was having this beautiful boy, through some trying and scary stuff and now he's here.

I have hardly any advice for her. Just enjoy each and every moment like it is your last.

I spent the first 3 and a half years wishing my daughter would be old enough to understand. Wishing that the infant would stop crying. Wishing she would grow up. Now, she understands more than I thought possible and I feel I've lost some precious moments in my urge to rush.

She is very excited to be five. But in that excitement and maturity comes understanding. And she says she will miss having someone to "take care" of her. (Like I would ever stop doing that.) She says she worries that I will go to heaven like my mother did to me and she will be a young child, Motherless.

She is way to young to be worried about that stuff. And I have made her worry.

Yes, I have been honest with her about everything and told her all I can regarding her questions about life and love and loss. But she is smart. She puts stuff together that most 5 year olds don't. And I am left once again with guilt.

I know she is just starting to understand and it will all come clear to her one day. But my heart. It hurts for her. Her innocence lost. The time I rushed. The time wasted by wishing it away. Time WE will not get back.

Now here she is. Five. Ready to start her journey of independence. Questioning her role, but loving life. I see me in her. I see myself in her a lot. In the way she looks. Her actions. Her words.

And I want to instill in her the power to trust herself. I am still learning that. I hope we can learn together.

I asked her what her favorite part about being four was. She said she liked when I helped her clean her room. What kid says that?

I asked her what she was looking forward to at five. She wants to be a veterinarian. I love that about her. Time is no concept. And she is confident that whatever she wants she will get. It will not be given to her per se, but she will get it on her own.

She is confident. I love that. That helps her to forgive. Because she knows she is loved. And all you need is love.

I could have a total screaming fit at her for something so silly and in a moment, she has forgotten my madness. Time. Heals all wounds. For some faster than others. For her in an instant. For me, a little longer.

However, this time I have learned. Not to rush anything. And I am enjoying each and every moment of five that I can. I'll never have it again.

I will take this time to savor each flavor of five. The bad times and the overwhelming good times. The tears and the belly laughs.

I am so lucky to have this little girl in my life and I will not let that get passed me. Ever.

So today, I share five with all of you. I hope as a gift to my daughter, you take this moment to hug your children no matter how old. Or how young. Hug your parents, hug your partner, hug yourself.

Understand that time doesn't stop. Time will pass as our lives pass in the blink of an eye. Don't rush it and enjoy it. Envelop your time and keep your time precious in the folds of your soul. It's all we have. Time and Love.

Savor it.

All my love chelle...

I love you all.

Margaret, my dear friend enjoy this time. I wish I could be there to hug you.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl. You are my most precious gift. I'm sorry I will hug you too much today. But you will understand one day. I promise.

Just Poetik

So iPhone has this app. where you can create your own poems using Shakespeare's words. I love it.

And I wrote this in the throes of an almost 5 year old tantrum.

Yes, I was actually playing with it while she was screaming and kicking and thrashing about.

Not bad huh?

Yeh, she calmed down. Eventually. But she is having a hard time of this growing up thing. Me too.

I pledge...

Ok. So now that I got that off my chest... I want to thank you all for your amazing comments.

And in a very special comment from a very special blog friend about my last post. I was challenged to make a pledge.

So, today I pledge to Annie to remain positive even when I feel very negative.

And my very first positive thought to this pledge is this:

The very best thing about blogging is all the wonderful connections I've made while airing out my "Dirty Laundry". I am grateful to all of my special blogging friends. And I am thankful to be a part of their lives.

(Quite appropriate don't you think, for a first blog pledge?)

Thank you Annie for your kind words and your idea to stay positive. I needed that.

Smart TV

Peek-a-BooI see you.

Hi.
We are obsessed with this show these days.

Duck is me. In blue. A lot sarcastic and smart assed. Peep is Fa. Inquisitive and curious and a problem solver.


It's a smart show too. Have you seen it? Scientific discoveries in a real life setting. Making learning about science real by connecting it to real life situations... using cute as a button characters. Every kid big and small will fall in love with them. I love it.

Know what else Fa and I totally crack up at:

I love that monkey. And the show is really smart too. Builds vocabulary and word recognition.

Oh! And this too:

Click it to get to the site.

Why didn't I think of that? Actually I did. When I was in a classroom I used to do a project like that with the kids...Drawing the words inside the shapes that they represent like 'apple' and 'fish'. Now there's a show that does just that.

Teaches reading and word building skills. Helps the visual learner (as I am) to recognize letters and words and their sounds and meanings. Brilliant, I tell you.

Whaddya think? Is too much of THIS kind of TV a bad thing? I think you know my opinion. What's yours?

Today

I hope wherever you are, you are in peace.

I'm showing off again.

We made cards for the pro for his birthday. (And the cake, I know. You can't stand my talents.)

He took Fa's to work with him...Mine are still here...hmmm...

But I'll show you.

This is the inside. It's pop-up.



Why are they not at work with him too?
I guess I know where I stand.

I'm so talented

Celebrating the Pro's birthday was fun. He enjoyed his present: 'Landscaping done for him until the end of the summer'. He said it was the best present he's ever gotten. Yay me.

I got brave and I actually tried to bake a cake. A real one. From a box. But nonetheless edible and frosted.

See:

Nom Nom Nom

Way better than last year's Birthday Blunder which started out alright:



But ended up looking like frosted crap.

Atrocious.

And since I had a whole entire year to contemplate my baking errors...I got creative.

I know. I know. You are amazed at my bakin' skillz.

He was too.

I am even quite the resourceful one when I can't find a piping head that works with the crap-tastic red piping that I bought without reading the label. It was missing a plastic head that piped out the red frosting in a thick tube to make the baseball stitiching...So what did I do you ask?

Thank goodness Fa takes her meds from a spoon now. Looks like something from a horror movie.

Should I start a business? Heh Heh.

Look at this bad boy!

Janet, (one of my all time favorite Janet's) awarded me with this little treasure....

It is the Arte y Pico award, originated by Arte y Pico and passed along to bloggers who inspire others with their creativity and their talents, also for contributing to the blogging world in whatever medium. When you receive this award it is considered a "special honor." Once you have received this award, you are to pass it on to 5 others.

I haven't received an award in a while which means I haven't given any awards in a while and I am happy and honored to do so today. I will pass it on lovingly, and according to the rules (for once):

1) Pick 5 blogs that you would like to award this honor to.
2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of "Arte y Pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

I've never heard of this one before so I am excited to get to passin'...

Here goes:

I love this woman: Chelle! She is my all time biggest girl-crush ever. I have been reading her for years (since I started blogging) and every post of hers is heartwarming and fun. And those pictures are amazing in each and every post. Chelle, this one's for you sister. You have been an inspiration to me from the very beginning!

Margaret, I don't know how to express how I feel about you. You have become an amazing blog friend turned IRL friend and I still have never 'met' you in person. Love you lady.

Jennifer, you crack me up girl. Coming to your blog is like coming to a surprise party every day. You are always witty, humorous and true. And I love that 'bout ya. I miss you when you don't post and I kick myself when I miss a few.

Sarcastic Mom, I always say my favorite form of flattery is sarcasm...and I love yours. Even when you are hurting, you are smart and true and straight forward and I envy your honesty. I love coming to your blog every day and your photos are some of the best I've ever seen. Thank you for sharing your world with us.

Momo Fali (God I love that name) Momo just makes me giggle. Her name used to be Mom of Ali but it got lost in translation somewhere in the blog world and I think that's just hysterical. Momo blogs about life and I am honored to be let in. She is an amazing woman and mother and when I read her I always feel close to her words.

So there ya-go ladies. I did it again, I picked all ladies. Sorry, boys I read. You'll be next. I wish I could hand this out to every single person I read...

Take this award knowing I love you all and I thank you all for letting me into your lives through this crazy internet...

"Arriba, Arriba, Andele! Andele!"

Feliz Cinco de Mayo amigos!

Hope you all have a great day and muchos muchos coronas y besitos!!!

We had a laid back weekend.
The Pro and Fa took a "Parenting for Dad's class" on Saturday and I gotta tell ya, that's a real turn on, people. When your kid's father takes this much interest in being a father...and not just a father, but a fricken' ass-kicken one at that. He took a "Parenting for Dad's class"... hello?

We also went to visit a farm all the way out on the island. We get our organic veggies delivered from this place and they put on a tour so you can see where your money goes. It was wonderful.
Fa had a ball actually pulling some veggies from the ground.

I'll leave you with last night's sunset. Kind of pretty, huh? I know. Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Charity Water

I've seen Fa using so much water in the last few weeks, taking care of her plants, playing in the sink and the shower...I never thought about how lucky I am to be able to afford her that simple pleasure in life. I mean we have filtered water in our house for crap's sake.

Living in NY, I don't know...this kinda gets to me...

Imagine how the women and children in Africa feel.



Go check out the site, you may feel inspired to do something about it.

I dunno, this dude is pretty inspired.