I guess this is just the calm before the storm. Sorry for the horrible pun, Gustav victims.
In this moment of calm I am thinking. Too hard. I am looking (once again) to find something that completes me. Something that makes me worthwhile. To myself.
I've tried ceramics, book clubs, mom's night out and of course the gym. I still love the gym, it makes me feel good. But. What next?
How long can I keep searching for that thing? That thing that I love. That thing that defines me. Not that person, but that thing. Hobby, talent, dare I say career?
When does life finally get content? It seems that I will realize my "thing" when I am waiting for the bright light to take me away. By then, it will be too late. How do I grab it now? And enjoy it now? And revel in it forever?
Forever is a frickin' long time. For some. And for some it's just not. Some don't get to feel that notion of forever. Am I being selfish or even nit-picky over the wrong things in life? Should I be worried more about the generalities of the world or just the isolation of my world, in my mind and heart. After all, my head and my heart is where my world stems from.
So how do I know when I have that thing?
And how will it make the monotony of the everyday seem bearable?
Our schedule is changing along with the seasons and it is that time of year (I guess) for taking inventory of myself again. This may take me a while.
They say change is good. I ask when does change start to feel good? Does it ever get "just right"?