He needs pants.

And a dentist.

Remember all the complaints?

So the new vet? Not bad.

I liked him. He was down to earth and he'll squeeze the dog's ass every two months for free! This will avoid major surgery in the long run. I like that. So does my wallet. Or my husband's wallet.

He gave the dog MORE antibiotics for his skin allergies and he told us to try new dog food.

We'll see.

The dog came with us to the Hamptons this weekend and he did fine in the car. No puking or shitting. And he played nice with the other dogs and kids. Good dog.

I still find him irritating and he boils my blood.

Maybe it's the way Fa tortures him and he gets all riled up and outta control. I should crate Fa but I don't think CPS would agree. And he ate his crate literally to pieces.

So I haven't gotten rid of him yet. But if this new vet doesn't work out...I can't make you any promises.

"Gulp!"

Hi.

Me: "Hi. My name is The Laundress and I have a fucked up dog."

You: "Hi The Laundress."

Me: "You see, I got this dog two years ago to help my painfully shy daughter come out of her shell."

You: "We see, keep going."

Me: "'Kay, It worked wonders for my daughter's inhibitions but it's bringing me slowly but surely to a cardboard box on the street."

You: "Oh, surely you must be joking The Laundress."

Me: "Oh seriously, I'm not joking. You've all heard about this, I know. And of course you've all seen this. Well, 'tis happenin' again folks. Another $705.00 spent this weekend at the vet. For his asshole."

Me: "His asshole exploded again. The third time in a year. Too many times for an ass explosion if you ask me."

You: "So what are you doing about this situation. Surely you are not going to take this lying down."

Me: "Sorta. You see, I am seeing another vet tonight and I think the old vet is wondering what the problem is. I feel like I'm cheating on him. Even though he charges me an arm and a paw for services. He's calling my cell phone as we speak. And I'm afraid to confront him. I'm not good at confrontation."

You: "Oh girl. Just put your big pants on and deal with the problem."

Me: "Um, nah. I'll just slink out of the old vet's life and never speak of him again."

You: "That's not an appropriate way to handle that The Laundress.

Me: "No?"

Me: "Too bad. I can't deal any more. I'm bad in these situations and I'm not gonna start owning up now. I just want to stop dealing with the dog's ass."

Me: "See."

Not again?

No more, please.

Tra La La (Oh! Dog part II)

Another video in the Poor Dog series...



We giggled so hard making this one. (you can hear us)

The song is by Gunther "The Ding Dong Song"...it makes me snort every time I hear it. I don't know if this dude is for real but he makes me laugh.

Don't worry, no animals were harmed during the making of this video...Actually, it's the other way 'round...He loves the "Boo Sha Sha"...(That's what we call the 'rubbing of the belly')

Oh dog!

Recently, Fa got a musical instrument kit. It contains a xylophone, castanets, a kazoo and a harmonica.

I know, what was I thinking?

Needless to say the dog is thrilled. T.H.R.I.LL.ED! I tell you.

In her quest to drive the dog bananas...Fa tried to "Charm" him into howling.

This clip is about 3 minutes longer with Fa tooting and him howling in his sleep on the couch...But I am strongly against posting Fa's image online, so you won't be seeing what might be the funniest part of the entire thing. My apologies.




And he still loves this kid to pieces...I won't be surprised if he hides the harmonica while we are out...

(I know you love the editing skillz...thank you.)

Fa's heart

Fa insisted we have a party for RT yesterday.

She made me buy him a chewey and wrap it.

She made my buy him a card.

She insisted it have a BT on the cover...

And she signed it (I cut that out) and drew a picture of her on RT's back.

We made cupcakes (he couldn't eat them, they were chocolate) and we had to give him treats to make up for the fact that he couldn't enjoy the cupcakes.

I think he had a good day.

I drew the line at party hats.

Anal Atrocities!

Remember when I told you about how much I've spent on the dog since we got him? Well, if you don't...here it is in a nutshell...

I fucking love having a dog.

Let's do this mathematically, in 21 months I have spent:

$1500.00 for initial purchase of the dog on July 9, 2006
$15.00 Pet Tracking System implant Yearly fee
$80.00 Initial pet visit 7/31 2006
$166.70 First round vaccines/antibitotics for Giardia/Vet Visit 8/7/06
$200.00 Second round vaccines/Giardia Vaccine/Vet Visit 9/11/06
$500.00 for three months of last option Giardia regiment/New Vet Visit 10/2/06
$300.00 Vaccines and vomiting and diarrhea treatment 12/15/07
$330.00 Vet Follow up after Giardia Treatment/Vaccines 1/2/07
$270.00 Vet visit on 4/17 (1st full yearly vaccines and check up)
$670.00 Emergency ass drainage 7/22/07
$174.00 Vacation Boarding 9/4/07
$215.00 Allergy visit and meds 10/22/07
$65.00 every three months for flea and tick and heartworm meds
$85.00 Medicated Bath, anal drainage, grooming, office visit 12/11/07
$600.00 DOG TRAINER 2/26/08 - lifetime assistance
$399.00 for grooming 3/28/08...that turned into: a medicated bath, yearly vaccine ad check up, rabies shot and license, tick collar, heartworm meds, antihistamines (again 3x a day), anal drainage, injections, stool sample testing.

Remember, he's got a skin rash/allergy and recurring anal abscesses that need to be drained every 3-4 months!

There's something in my house that irritates his skin..not a clue what it is...he's been licking his paws to the point of scabbing! Maybe it's the training and loss of 'alpha position' in my house that's making him do that? I dunno.

This is fun.

Go ahead...add it up...I just can't find it in me to actually do the calculations...I may vomit.

It's not that I don't appreciate him for what he's done for Fa...I mean, after all, he's pulled her out of her shy shell from the get go and helped to make her feel more comfortable in her own skin...and he potty trained her for shit's sake. Like the commercial says..."Priceless"!

But jesus...he's tough.

Happy Birthday RT, I hope you enjoy your life with us...If your big sister didn't adore you to pieces..."bang zooom!".

(The birthday boy needs pants)