Monday, April 7, 2008

Anal Atrocities!

Remember when I told you about how much I've spent on the dog since we got him? Well, if you don' it is in a nutshell...

I fucking love having a dog.

Let's do this mathematically, in 21 months I have spent:

$1500.00 for initial purchase of the dog on July 9, 2006
$15.00 Pet Tracking System implant Yearly fee
$80.00 Initial pet visit 7/31 2006
$166.70 First round vaccines/antibitotics for Giardia/Vet Visit 8/7/06
$200.00 Second round vaccines/Giardia Vaccine/Vet Visit 9/11/06
$500.00 for three months of last option Giardia regiment/New Vet Visit 10/2/06
$300.00 Vaccines and vomiting and diarrhea treatment 12/15/07
$330.00 Vet Follow up after Giardia Treatment/Vaccines 1/2/07
$270.00 Vet visit on 4/17 (1st full yearly vaccines and check up)
$670.00 Emergency ass drainage 7/22/07
$174.00 Vacation Boarding 9/4/07
$215.00 Allergy visit and meds 10/22/07
$65.00 every three months for flea and tick and heartworm meds
$85.00 Medicated Bath, anal drainage, grooming, office visit 12/11/07
$600.00 DOG TRAINER 2/26/08 - lifetime assistance
$399.00 for grooming 3/28/08...that turned into: a medicated bath, yearly vaccine ad check up, rabies shot and license, tick collar, heartworm meds, antihistamines (again 3x a day), anal drainage, injections, stool sample testing.

Remember, he's got a skin rash/allergy and recurring anal abscesses that need to be drained every 3-4 months!

There's something in my house that irritates his skin..not a clue what it is...he's been licking his paws to the point of scabbing! Maybe it's the training and loss of 'alpha position' in my house that's making him do that? I dunno.

This is fun.

Go ahead...add it up...I just can't find it in me to actually do the calculations...I may vomit.

It's not that I don't appreciate him for what he's done for Fa...I mean, after all, he's pulled her out of her shy shell from the get go and helped to make her feel more comfortable in her own skin...and he potty trained her for shit's sake. Like the commercial says..."Priceless"!

But jesus...he's tough.

Happy Birthday RT, I hope you enjoy your life with us...If your big sister didn't adore you to pieces..."bang zooom!".

(The birthday boy needs pants)


  1. Could it be the flea and tick meds that causes the skin problems?

    I have a cat that I swear the flea and tick meds poisoned him. He didn't die, but he developed a horrible skin rash, lost weight, lost hair. He was sick, sick.

    The vet tried to tell us he had an allergy to fleas and that is what is causing it. Yeah. right.

    Once that dose of meds ran out, I didn't give it to him again and he got better. I just keep a flea collar on him, his skin is great, his fur grew back in and he gained his weight back. He looks healthy again, but I'm telling ya, the entire time I had him on the meds, he was sick.

  2. "recurring anal abscesses" is not my phrase of the week. I will strive at every opportunity to insert that phrase nonchalantly into conversation, suck as "I'd vote for Hillary, but I'm worried about the recurring anal abscesses," or "Maybe we should order the steak. It comes with recurring anal abscesses and garlic mashed potatoes." Thanks!

  3. Could it be a cleaner you use in your house? I have a co-worker who can not use anything on their carpet for vacuuming (like Carpet Fresh) because the cat reacts to it.
    I've also heard some dogs have had problems with the swiffer liquid in the "swiffer wet jet" if you use one of those... that's all I can think of

  4. I'm sorry but this line made me about fall out of the chair, I was laughing so hard...

    "$670.00 Emergency ass drainage 7/22/07"

  5. You are going to get the BEST google hits from that title!

    Amazing what a dog can cost, and how much still can like them!

  6. Wow. I'm right there w/ ya. My bionic dog has had 2 major knee surgeries for torn ACLs. I don't even want to think about the cost. Makes me want to puke.

    Seriously - we had a dog growing up that was allergic to something... never could figure it out. Vet gave us some type of specialty shampoo - kinda like baby shampoo...I remember we compared the ingredients. Took care of most of the allergy problems.

    I have a friend and her dog is allergic to GRASS!! And it's a wiener dog so its really close to the ground so its always touching grass. They keep their back lawn mowed REALLY short and no more problems. they just wipe his legs off when he comes in.

    As much as they cost - the joys they bring (to Fa - obviously not to you or your wallet) makes it worth it... at least to me it does.

    Have I told you lately how flippin' cool you are? Because you are. This is 100% evidence of what a great mommy you are.

  7. somehow i have not been getting your updates on my reader....i was missing you. glad all is ok.

  8. I, too, am giggling at the "emergency ass drainage" line!

    Happy Birthday, RT!

  9. Oh great. I share a birthday with the dog. Yay. :)

  10. We love our expensive dog too! We did adopt her from the local shelter 8 years ago. Three years ago she blew out her knee - and $1500 later -oh, and it was a short toss-up, house payment or dog, house payment or dog... But she was as good as new! As long as she didn't go through metal detectors. And even football players have ACL injuries, so she's right up there! Then it happened again. Another house payment on the other front leg.

    If we all didn't love her to pieces...we might leave her with the bitchy neighbor across the street.

    We couldn't imagine life without them. Just like kids- sometimes.

  11. Thank you for renewing my confidence in my decision to not own pets!!! Not just the big bucks, but the freaking hassle would make me spontaneously combust. I can't even get myself to my annual gyn I really think I'd be motivated to take a pup for an ass drain? I think not.

    I'm glad you're posting again....I've missed you!

  12. Ha! I think I've got you beat. (I did the math.) My FREE Rottweiler shepherd mix (his rotty mommy got frisky with the local bad boy) right off the bat got Parvo (I don't have the numbers for that, it was a couple of hundred). Then he developed a condition peculiar to Rotties in which he had too much skin on his lower eyelid and it rolled up on him. That was about $300. Then he broke his back leg. Did I mention this dog weighs 140 pounds? I had to take him to another STATE to the Vet School at UT to get surgery done on him and a metal plate put in. (We won't discuss getting a 140-pound dog with a broken back leg in and out of a car.) After a week there I was told to "keep him off the leg". Yeah, right. He broke the metal plate. Another surgery, this time with a honking metal L-bracket plate 8 inches long and 1/4 inch thick. Then there was the weekly changing of the dressing which required anesthesthia. (Done at my local vet.) The two surgeries were $6000. Every weekly visit was another $35. My vet felt sorry for me, so occasionally he didn't charge me. Then BC worried the scar so much that it would bleed. He still does it, but I've finally given up on it. He's 9 years old, so for a big dog he's already on borrowed time.

  13. sometimes I think dogs channel the emotional spins of the household. Someone there nervous??? hmmm

    Almost every dog I've owned has been a 24 karat parasite. But look at the tongued face! Who could resist that stinky lil love God. Not me.

    ps. check his food. I'd be more inclined to think he's sensitive to something he's eating.

  14. *shudder* recurring anal abcesses?

    that would be rt's ticket to someone ELSE'S house ...

    i feel your pain. my dogs still pee on the couch. i have threatened bodily harm, but i am the only one who wants to kick them to the curb. sigh.


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