I have a 6 year old.
How did that happen?
Where did it all go?
She is loving kindergarten. I am hating work.
She has friends and fun and enjoys playing with the babysitter. She enjoys the after school program.
I am missing it all.
Work sucks. (How true)
I hate it. I feel guilty that my students have a teacher that truly doesn't care. I hate being their teacher. I hate working. It takes me away from being a mommy.
I hate not being there for her when she gets out of school. I hate not being able to take her to school in the morning.
Why can't I get it right?
No matter what happens, I'm complaining.
2010 doesn't promise to be any better.
When do I stop wishing it all away? ... Only to be wishing it right back again after I've realized what I've missed.
When will I learn?
I am so proud of my daughter for rockin' kindergarten from day one. She worries about me. She asks how my students were...every day. She wonders if I am doing okay.
I am making her crazy with worry about me.
But do I change. Of course not. I'm not happy unless I'm miserable.
I'm writing every word down for my daughter so she one day will understand. She reads now.
She's capable of reading this blog. But she in so NOT capable of understanding. Yet.
Then will it all make sense? To me?