Monday, June 16, 2008

Hi.

Me: "Hi. My name is The Laundress and I have a fucked up dog."

You: "Hi The Laundress."

Me: "You see, I got this dog two years ago to help my painfully shy daughter come out of her shell."

You: "We see, keep going."

Me: "'Kay, It worked wonders for my daughter's inhibitions but it's bringing me slowly but surely to a cardboard box on the street."

You: "Oh, surely you must be joking The Laundress."

Me: "Oh seriously, I'm not joking. You've all heard about this, I know. And of course you've all seen this. Well, 'tis happenin' again folks. Another $705.00 spent this weekend at the vet. For his asshole."

Me: "His asshole exploded again. The third time in a year. Too many times for an ass explosion if you ask me."

You: "So what are you doing about this situation. Surely you are not going to take this lying down."

Me: "Sorta. You see, I am seeing another vet tonight and I think the old vet is wondering what the problem is. I feel like I'm cheating on him. Even though he charges me an arm and a paw for services. He's calling my cell phone as we speak. And I'm afraid to confront him. I'm not good at confrontation."

You: "Oh girl. Just put your big pants on and deal with the problem."

Me: "Um, nah. I'll just slink out of the old vet's life and never speak of him again."

You: "That's not an appropriate way to handle that The Laundress.

Me: "No?"

Me: "Too bad. I can't deal any more. I'm bad in these situations and I'm not gonna start owning up now. I just want to stop dealing with the dog's ass."

Me: "See."

Not again?

No more, please.

13 comments:

  1. Poor Archie! And poor you! What are you going to do? He's the kind of dog you love to hate.

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  2. You know, its really stupid of me to click on links that precede sentences like, "Well, 'tis happenin' again folks. Another $705.00 spent this weekend at the vet. For his asshole." when I am eating chilli of all things.

    I didn't know assholes could do that tho. I didn't know dogs could get allergies to the point where they need meds a few times a day. Wow. Throw in some homework or a few sleepless nights and that's like having another CHILD.

    OUr neighbors have a dog exactly like yours. Her name is Tasha. Now I'm going to wonder about how asshole everytime I see her...

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  3. Bless your heart...and his butt hole.:)

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  4. 700 dollars for a dog's ass?! WOW! Inflation is a beyotch!

    If it makes you feel any better...my puppy is slowing chewing an ENTIRE post on the back of my house! ARGH!

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  5. awww hang in there and i hope the new vet can bring better news or treatment. I have lived through the death of a cherished pet. Not fun. Hugs!

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  6. awww hang in there and i hope the new vet can bring better news or treatment. I have lived through the death of a cherished pet. Not fun. Hugs!

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  7. Aww. Poor RT. Poor Laundress, too! I am the same, I would just slink out of the old vet's life, too. Not that I condone that...it's better to just deal. But I am bad in these situations, too, and I'm sure I'd do the same thing.

    -dsb-

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  8. oh.

    my.

    GAWD.

    considering we just spent upwards of $1,600 to save a dog from snail pellets, i feel your pain.

    although not nearly as much as your poor dog's butt does.

    and ack! i can't believe i'm reading and commenting on anal abcesses. *gag*

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  9. get your ass on a plane to Houston. Margaritas (for you) and mexican food (for us).

    Bring Fa. I have a slip-n-slide.

    :)

    Hugs my friend

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  10. I go to three different vets depending on the circumstances and the animal. (We have 8 total.) Do not feel guilty. Vets make plenty of money. Hope you are both better soon. They put one of those lampshades on BC to keep hiim away from his foot and he destroyed it.

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  11. I was all set to bash the dog and his expensive ass but then he looks so damn cute in that picture I just couldn't!

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  12. My goodness. Three times seems a bit much. I think I would consider another vet as well.

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  13. I don't blame you for being frustrated.

    I just hope they can figured this out for you.

    He looks plum tuckered out there with his lick collar on in the picture. I'm sorry, but I had to smile at it.

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